Getting Ready For The Worse ?

Here’s a post just so that Demi Lovato’s video wouldn’t be at the top most of this blog. Or at least second top most. Najwa, Ira, Atoy, Faiqa and Kira came over today. Najwa, Ra and Toy came over at 8 and my parents were still around so my dad was surprised and he figured out we’d probably be studying for like, an hour but I think we studied more than that. We did.

Was fun having them around. We ate much. Talked just as much. Maybe even less?

I’ll miss my school friends but they should know I’d still be me inside no matter how much of an ass or maybe a very good person I turn out to be, I’d always still be that psycho you all love. Jengjengjeng.

And I have Atoy’s treasured Vaseline. Muahahahaha! Hmm, I feel like running away now, not from home. I love home. Just from the country. I feel sick of the boring things now. Although I doubt I’d actually be able to live without my parents and my maid, I want an adventure. Okay, adventure =  just being somewhere new with new people. Heh mal bye.

Truth In It? Umhm.

Because of the excessive amount of Disney songs I had been singing to today (not to mention, as Najwa always says it , I never do get the lyrics right (that’s because I don’t actually watch Disney movies *ehem)), Najwa told me to search this up and have a listen because she thinks this song is just so me. Especially the ‘back back back’ part as how Najwa said it? HAHAHAHA. And I don’t see why. But I guess I’ll bother her by singing it 24/7 tomorrow! You asked for it missy!

Ookay, I just had a look at the video. Am I that much of an irony? What’s up with her pointing to the camera with that face-lah? -_-

Hihihihihi.

Okay, I do agree with my friends that I’ve gotten way too annoying. Najwa’s starting to compare me to a character on Harry Potter and mind you, it’s not Hermione or Ginny, it’s just some old annoying professor who apparently giggles like I do -_-. And Tiya was tempted to slap my face during our early dinner at Burger King. And yesterday, I was told that I sound like Lindsay Lohan while she’s acting like a brat -_-” Let’s not even start on Tiya who annoys me everytime she tells me that I act kinky with waiters and people. So yes, time to change my character because I don’t want people thinking I’m a mobile mega sale HAHAHA This is so random, and I’m just feeling so weird now?

Well, I shall cut myself some slack. I mean, I did sprain my foot today. Yes I did. No, it’s not something I’m happy about. It’s the same foot I sprained earlier this year, and probably also because it did not fully recover and sometimes, it’s just not able to walk flat on the ground. This is funny. Talking about my foot. Now it’s starting to sound gross. It’s weird why I’m so happy these days. My body’s probably throwing all the energy away, getting myself prepared for a stress attack where energy = 0. And btw, I just googled the character Najwa said my laugh resembled. And my face is just priceless with disgust. Thanks alot Najwa. It’s 1048 and I like sitting still because my foot hurts but it’s time sit still on the study table now.

I like calculating and chemistry is my best friend. I want to get married to Einstein so I’m learning him inside out now.

Har har bye love.

Hit Rewind, please?

As much as it appears to me as an irony, I don’t wish for the past so I’d have extra time to study, but just for small little things that shouldn’t matter at all to me right now but somehow they make me feel like shit and that’s not a very good term to be used but I just feel eskasjedet*#!. Or is it normal to have SPM bugging your mind in a sidetracked manner, or are the demons trying to distract me from what I’m meant to be doing? The last thing I’d want is to look back and tell myself “You should’ve studied just a litttlee harder”. And I know I shouldn’t be blogging at this point of time but better blog than have all this shit pile up in my head and think my whole day out. If I were to get a stress attack during SPM, that’s the end of it. Okay better not jinx it, it did happen during trials -_-”

Now honestly, I feel like mailing out a letter to Dr Love/Dr Education or John Mayer?(okay du’oh that was random ) to get any form of advice.  How the hell am I supposed to cope with this? Don’t the rest have other things to worry about other than studies? I mean, can’t be that the only thing running about in their head is SPM uh? Life couldn’t be simple but for once, I beg for simple -_-”. I don’t have the bloody time right now to think about what to do after SPM, if the bruise on my leg is to fade away, if I’m going to be getting a lot of wrinkles from too much of frowning these days, if there’s a reason why I’ve been coughing with chest aches for more than a week now, if I annoy much, if I should be more concerned about people, if I’m in the right path, if I’m doing the right thing with life, ? I guess everyone else has their life going around the same as I do just that I get a little too paranoid sometimes. Sometimes, uh. Who am I kidding?

I really should stop asking myself things like that. It should be more of:- How do you calculate the first derivative principle? or Where’s Naning in Malaysia? I’m tired hell of thinking and I’m screwed with my Bahasa Melayu papers, how am I meant to brush up by 2 weeks? I hope the person who marks my paper is used to moderate melayu with no extensive vocabulary. Must pick up a Bahasa Melayu dictionary today. Let’s not even start on Add Math. Jeng jeng jeng ? This is making me nutsakasnfdkjabf!

Bye ):

Stick Your Mind, Jeez.

The closer we get, the more i stone around, and my mind floats more often. I don’t blame my parents for nagging at me due to me walking around the house and roaming around more often then sitting myself on the chair to study but I don’t blame myself either for my restlessness. It’s not that I like my habit, du’oh. I’m tired and I just got to find that my mum’s flying to the US while I’m having my exams? Thf. Well, I can actually tell her to cancel the trip but it’s not necessary to have her around and it’s not like she’s on a holiday, she’s there for work and work = money and without money there goes happiness? Okay, wrong. But money = education, and point is, I shan’t be too selfish.

Yesterday was tiring so today wasn’t a very productive day. I headed for tuition yesterday, had ‘lunch’ (I should get rid of my indecisiveness, because I decided to just have a lame sandwich since I didn’t feel like cracking my head) and headed to Thiru’s. And came back home, studied a little, wanted to eat lunch (this time, I mean lunch) but I felt too lazy? Fell asleep. Woke up and headed for dinner somewhere. And then I tried to get rid of the whole nausea thing by downing myself coffee but I ordered coffee with milk by accident -_-”

I should drink milk. Calcium makes you less cranky? Goodnight love.

The Pair’s Everywhere ?

Okay, I am still on hiatus but since I’m downloading numerous trial papers from around the country, and you can only download a few at a time, so I’ve got pauses and gaps in the midst of downloading the next few papers, why not blog ?

We had Program Pemantapan Minda since yesterday. It’s okay, I guess. My flu is getting better and I guess everything’s alright. We’ve got Open Day tomorrow and my results weren’t bad at all, better than usual but okay, let’s not talk about everything . ? We had Bahasa Melayu mantap minda today and we were bored sick during the long nags from the teacher so I decided to name all my stationaries. I’ll talk about them later, after SPM? Everything’s post-spm now.

Oh well, have got to do a couple of Accounts exercises, and then Biology. Ciao and Good Luck getting yourself to be doing what you need to do now (:

Stay put, love.

Up till now, I’ve not learn how horrible life could actually get. I am dying for a time machine. And when I heard of the disappointment I had myself in for, the only thing I could say to myself was “Fking Hell” and honestly nothing else. It kills the most when you disappointment yourself. And I hope I won’t be looking back at this.

Mhmm.

I’m not in school because I’m sick. So I missed the first day of school after our last school holiday. Heh. Uhh, this is annoying. Gotta go study now in such a bad state. Okay, it’s not that bad, just a flu and a terrible sore throat + cough. On the bright side, the medication for my gastric is proving wonders! Heh. Ciao loves.

Eeeek, No Thanks ?

I feel extremely tired but overwhelmed with guilt. Cause of guilt; I haven’t been studying and it’s not like I’m having so much fun with life either or if I see so much significance in any form of distraction but I just am, being a brat. ..

So yes, from now on, I will study study study like there’s no tomorrow because SPMs just around the corner and after 11 subjects to sit for, I can do whatever I like whenever I want. For now, it’s best for me to stick my ass at home or somewhere to study. Wait, it’s not really a huge problem for me having to sit my ass because I actually might be able to study better when at somewhere else but I really really need to be able to stick my mind and focus. I could stone my life away after SPM, please. Jeez.

Anyways, I headed to tuition this morning in kurung so yes it sucks and in heels too. Because Kira was supposed to be in heels too but she thought it was way overboard and decided to leave them in the car. So Keer and a few others were just pointing at my heels and saying “Whose are those? We should see later.” and du’oh I told them it’s not like I want to, I have somewhere to head after this. Trust me the heels did make it go a little overboard. Satin with a bunch of rose shaped thing in front and around 2-inch high? So not the usual me? But du’oh la, why would I ever get all dressed up for no reasons for tuition? -_-” Headed to the cafe near there for lunch with Kira after class, after getting myself some safety pins (my bloody kurung was so effin see-through I had to pin the upper part of it, AHAHHA), and we had lunch. And I took Zantac and Mallox before so my stomach wasn’t being annoying at all. For the whole day, in fact (:

We didn’t study as how we planned. Left for Faiqa’s after eating. Reached there and helped her a little. Went online. Tried to sleep. Went online. Kira studied while I was walking around being restless. Oh God, now I feel like resembling a 6 year old boy. Eeek. Anyways, that’s that and then it was lunch. And we had a karaoke session and makan again. And I headed home from there at 8. It’s only 9 but I feel so sleepy. And I don’t know. People are weird? Like when you go, they come? Okay, now this is scary because I’m sleepy and this is starting to sound ghostly? Eeee bye♥

Martian.

I had the most chronic gastric attack on Wednesday night. I honestly thought my peptic ulcer was about to burst and got myself ready for, no, not death but just more pain. Luckily enough, I fell asleep after trying so hard and woke up with less pain but it was still there. Took medications and had only porridge the entire day. Friday aka today was the planned date for me to pay the doctor a visit and get myself referred to a specialist. But being myself, I escaped from that by telling my parents that I am perfectly alright although I had myself the most hot ramen ever last night. I amazed myself too that I did not suffer from excruciating pain in my sleep because the ramen I had was really really pedas.

So I had porridge again today but I did have something to go with it as well. How boring could plain porridge be? So yes. And also because I have a problem with sitting my ass to study at home, I decided to accompany Najwa for lunch at Subways, and studied at Starbucks. Okay, so Najwa studied while I stoned myself and laughed about random things. But I’m going to study now. I mean, in a moment.

I baked the cake as planned although I got myself reminded of it in Starbucks so I didn’t really get myself prepared but it was just a cake -_-”. Reached home, changed into shorts and a huge tshirt (No, I don’t cook in jeans HAHA), and started the process. The cake’s ready now and it looks lovely. Should taste well too.

Oh well, I’ve got tuition tomorrow and Faiqa’s hosting an open house. Won’t be enjoying myself with food there though since I can’t eat anything spicy at the moment. Well, for a very long time till I’m fully recovered. And I’m also allergic to too many things now. Stupid immune system Uhh. Bye ♥