End. Start.

My blog view for today increased tremendously.

I’m sorry to let you down by not posting my results up as soon. I got a little above what I had expected although not perfect as Amy’s was, I’m content. I really really am. I thank God, my parents, my teachers, my family. Without their love, I wouldn’t even have been alive to sit for the papers.

But honestly, PUSHING ASIDE my family members and my close friends, I’m really being nice in saying this (if you know me personally, you’d know I prefer to straighten things out, EVEN in cyber-space), it could be time for some of you folks to be growing up a little in the head. I can never get how people can be so stupid sometimes, if ever I get myself 11 As or even 11Gs, how the hell does that in any way affect your life? What’s in for me in the future, is mine. Not anyone’s. I don’t see you as a frikkin’ pop-up in my future so if you’re someone I know just by random and just by a few hellos exchanged, I really think you should start living your own life. I mean seriously, triple amount of blog views than yesterday? That’s a little overboard.

Okay, back to life. I got myself 8As. There you have it. I’m content, I’m happy. It could’ve been better, no doubt my class skipping routine in Form 4 has no doubt caused an effect to my studies. Studying in Form 5 never really was ample to cover up what I lacked off in Form 4.

Regrets? None. Well, maybe just very very a little. But I’m really really content.  Alhamdulillah. The feeling of content is something I would never ever trade, even for perfection.  I’m happy and what makes me happier is that even with my imperfections and flaws, I’m happy in my skin, I’m glad I’m me, I’m happy to be the person I’ve grown up to.

Went to Ira’s for pigging out session. Kira then came over. We headed to Tropicana City and met up with Harez. Played Daytona at the arcade and as expected, I lost. I was doing okay when suddenly EFFFFFF my car flipped and it was facing the reversed direction and there’s no reverse gear so I panicked and screamed. At least not as bad as Kira, HAHAH she wa sin second and Harez won. She actually thought the game was over so she screamed and laughed victoriously, letting her hand off the wheel. And then Ira passed her and she got 3rd place. I still got 4th. Car went reversed direction AGAINN during the second game. Headed to Ra’s and Dad fetched me later.

I haven’t really disappointed anyone I love, except Mr T whom I have yet to ring but Dan said he’d still be proud no matter what. I just don’t have the heart to tell him I didn’t succeed in scoring great for my Accounts. The other teachers I came to were happy and it meant so much to me, I really wanted the best for my parents and my teachers. Now everyone’s glad, including me. What a bonus.

Although the flaws are still there in my results slip, I’ve grown out of it, it’s time to move on with life and insyaAllah, I’ll grow up in the right pace, on the right track.

Thank you God, you have made me the most happiest, I know my results pretty much suck, hahaha, but I like what I’ve grown to become, I’m growing to a better adult and I will get closer to you.

♥ -amal

p.s Happy Birthday Pete Doherty! Although Tiya claims you’re sick inside because of all the drugs, I know you’re not. Hahahahah (:

I love Pete’s lyrics in everything. Ok goodnight.

End To The Wait.

I’m feeling ultimately lost right now. I don’t want to sleep. I don’t want to rise. I just got my very first pay-cheque today and I miss the people at Bangsar upon returning them.

‘haa, kau tolong mak lipat baju mehh!’

‘ha? hahaha, lepas tu letak plus dekat cheque tu ehh ‘

Mak btw is the she-male worker there. That’s what most of them call him and after some time there, that’s what he refers himself to when talking to us too! Sayangggg semua oranggg! (:

Watched a little of Watchmen with Ira and the flow was pretty slow, it was a well written movie, but not something to be expected from a superhero sort of movie. Too much talk, too little action. Headed to Muhibbah with Najwa, Hana, Ira, Faiqa anddddddd Atoy who’s back from NS! With tanned skin, not fully though, an inch from both her face sides is still fair, hahahahah! She was in her NS uniform and boots in OU. Kira fetched us halfway and we headed to Atoy’s.

Dinner was good. Kira sent me home and I got myself the longest shower, or as I had jokingly told Steph, I tried drowning myself but failed, hahahah. After soaking myself for long, and having my eyes turn red because of the water, I stoned.

And here I am. I’m really feeling lost and out of my mind.

What comes, must come. I have to be strong in taking anything. I really really just don’t wish to disappoint anyone, my parents, my teachers, my grand parents and everyone else. I want time smiling ear to ear knowing what my results turned out as.

Gotta text Ra now, need someone to ring me to wake up because I bet I’d be too darn scared to even wake myself up. I won’t be surprised if I end up sleeping or crying, I won’t be amazed if I’d chicken out.

Wish me luck loves.

Amal Zulkifar,
There are times in life when things just happen for a reason, and only when you’re lucky, you are aware of the reason which hids beneath it. There are times when you have to let yourself into a situation, even if that means you have to leave your hopes dangling in mid-air with a possibility of crashing down.  God does not neglect anyone, if ever there’s failure it’s probably because you’ve neglected yourself in the past but you always have an excuse to that, you’re human, not God.

Really, there exist times when you really have to cut yourself some slack.

♥ yourself.

JEEEEEEZ.

4 hours of sleep. Get ready for a bitch fit. Hahaha. Kidding.

I hate people who do shit to others. I simply do. Haven’t you have your own life to live? Stop being a loser by wrecking the lifes of others’.

UHHHHHHH.

Random:
Why are you wearing white? Nanti stained during the surgery.
Heh? I’ll be wearing a robe stupp.
Inside?
Nothing inside -_-.
Ohh .. AHHAHA!

Wow, you’re like a retard now.. Hahahah! *ties elder sister’s hair in a ponytail
Hahaha, hmm sort of. But you’re a retard all the time!
Ha .. .. -_-”

Hah! you’ll see, I’ll get myself a six-pack soon.
HAHAHAHAHA That’s like saying Ma’s gonna tone to become Jessica Alba.

I feel so giddy and dizzy. I think I know what caused it.
What? The cigarettes? Could be a side-effect of not smoking?
Heh? Since when does he NOT smoke -_-

Fine. So, Be It ?

I’m awfully tired because I had myself a very bad light-headed moment in tuition and it felt as if I wasn’t on a flat ground (Ok, the Earth isn’t flat but you get what I mean), & then came a gastric attack and an a stinging pain on my peptic ulcer. But it didn’t sting so badly. Just realised I had left all my medications in Johor after getting them just 2 days before. So yes, I’d have to bare this, at least until the weekends. So all of a sudden. Mum’s getting annoyed by the pain I have, and I am annoyed too. My immunity level is dropping and it causes me to be more prone to allergy reactions. I mean, I used to not be allergic to anything and all. And now I’m allergic to prawns and several types of fish and peanuts and so many other things. And I get very very bad migraines when a place is too crowded and heaty. Not forgeting sleepless nights because of a blocked nose. Honestly it sucks so badly. I can’t even eat food which is even slightly spicy without having a gastric attack later. And now my stomach feels numb as if it’s vacuum. Because of the annoyance I have caused my mother, she plans to take me to the specialist. And I don’t want a bloody camera going down my throat!

Okay, must go now. I wanna sleep and get myself some rest. Stress agrivates the pain because of the higher production of acid. Hahahah! Okay honestly. But I feel okay right now, not so stressed ? So why the hell am I getting an ulcer attack out of a sudden? Life life life. Oh well, things could always get worse (:

Oh &before I go,

Happy Seventeenth Birthday Kira! x

hope you had yourself a good birthday with us in school!

Random.

There are 5 things that I really can’t stand. And this is not ranked. I hate them equally as bad.

1. Having to cancel something I have badly looked forward to.

2. People who get physical in arguments, even if slightly.

3. Any form of division; racial, gender or even those in Mathematics.

4. As much as I like integration in many aspects, the one in Add-Math is still too horrifying to like

I currently think that the one simple thing that causes a person to feel like shit most of the time is confusion.

When you feel confused about your beliefs, feelings, choices or what a person is trying to point out to you or even when in a confusion, you are misunderstood and people makes you feel horrible.

So in a sum, Confusion = Feeling Shit.

And I also am in deep hate with the fact that I’m not in Beijing right now or at least wasn’t for the Opening Ceremony. I don’t like sports. Playing or watching. But I certainly like opening ceremonies. And I am constantly in love with fireworks. Fuck it; it was the most beautiful thing. The fireworks. I honestly am feeling super down about it. And I know chasing around for every fireworks display in KL for Merdeka Celebrations soon wouldn’t make me feel any better.

Not to mention it was THE bestest event of 2008 to take photos of.
Photos courtesy of this website:
http://www.boston.com/bigpicture/2008/08/2008_olympics_opening_ceremony.html